The real work of transformation begins as we engage this journey, not only participating with God in the process of becoming but also offering what we live. To lead a Becoming a King group is an even deeper dive into this transformation. Let's get started.
As you risk offering your strength by way of leading this group, make sure you have the necessary materials:
Becoming a King (book)
Becoming a King Study Guide
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com to stay connected with new content and resources being made available to continue to strengthen you in this role.
About this session: If we are to become who God meant when he meant us—as men—we must get honest about our God-given desire to be powerful. We must become men who neither deny nor misuse our power, but rather wield power for the good of others as we walk in wholehearted union with God.
Central question for this session: How do we become the kind of men who can handle power?
Initial welcome: As the group first gathers, start your time with introductions if people don’t know each other. Begin with yourself (share your name, a bit about your family, and what inspired you to offer this group). Going first will put the group more at ease. Remind every participating that confidentiality is essential. Together, you are agreeing as a group that everything shared in your time is held in strict confidence. The goal is to create a soul safe space, where your participants can be authentic.
After the introductions, jump right in to watching the video teaching, getting things started on a strong note:
WATCH
PAUSE
One of the foundational beliefs of this process is that God is the initiator and we are simply invited to respond and participate. In each session, you’re invited to choose a two-minute pause after the video to let the message soak into your soul, let questions arise, and let God shine his light.
God, I invite you into this space as I sit in stillness with you. Here and now, I choose to recover my breath. I turn my attention and affection to you, God, and what you have prepared for me in this time. I choose to gather my scattered senses and focus my attention on the presence of God. I choose two minutes to breathe and center myself with you.
READ
Think of a moment in your childhood when you were entrusted with power.
While riding bikes with my daughter yesterday, I had a visceral memory of the first time, as a young boy, I was turned loose to head off on my bike to the neighborhood beyond our street. All these years later, I can still remember the power I felt. Moments like this whisper to us a secret waiting to be recovered.
I've spent the last two decades excavating this desire in my heart and in the hearts of many men. With intense curiosity I’ve sought to uncover the source of this desire and why it so often leads a man sideways. As I scan the landscape of my own life and the lives of other men, I find
far too many stories of men being entrusted with power, only to have that power bring harm to themselves and others.
Is there another way? Is there a path to becoming the kind of wholehearted man who can be entrusted with power and have it turn out for good? As I spent years leaning into the wisdom of contemporary sages as well as sages from millennia past, a path began to take shape. In time, that path revealed a process of transformation to become the kind of man to whom God can entrust his power.
It was John Eldredge who said, “The great problem of the earth and the great aim of the masculine journey boil down to this: When can you trust a man with power?” In Session 1, I invite you to risk recovering your God-given desire to be powerful. How has this desire played out in your masculine heart over the years? Where has it led you to places you never wanted to go? And what might the process look like to experience deep and lasting wholehearted restoration, becoming the kind of man who can wield power well?
Let’s dig in.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (study guide pages 16-17)
SCRIPTURE
Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.
Jeremiah 6:16 NIV
CLOSING PRAYER
Protect time each week to pray. Don’t rush. Linger. Invite God to tend to your masculine hearts in what has surfaced in your time together. Ask him what else he wants you all to pray into.Invite his power and care into each of your lives as you take action and dig deeper into your story through this content in the week ahead.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
Read chapter 1 of Becoming a King.
Complete session 1 from the Becoming a King Study Guide.
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com.
FURTHER EXCAVATION (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER)
Watch The Mask of Zorro. Consider the story of Alejandro and his relationship with Diego. Reflect on the presence and energy both men exhibit in the master/apprentice relationship.
Listen to the Becoming a King Wives Collection (Part 1 and Part 2). It’s an exclusive conversation that will strengthen your soul. I invited my wife, Cherie, and the wives of three other men who have consented to the path and process of Becoming a King for more than a decade into the Become Good Soil podcast studio. With raw courage and winsome authenticity, they shared a behind-the-scenes view of what it has been like for them.
Listen to Become Good Soil podcast episode 040.
Read Become Good Soil blog post – Fallen Kings, Fallen Kingdoms.
About this session: Our identity as a beloved son is often where we’ve taken the greatest hits. Yet sonship is intended to be the foundation of our lives. As we learn to experience our secure place in our Father’s heart, we are able to bring our strength—rather than our questions—to the world.
Central questions for this session: What if courage could replace fear and a sense of reliable abundance could replace the specter of scarcity? What if there was a way to become the kind of man who brings authentic strength to his world out of a deep reservoir of life within?
Initial welcome: As the group first gathers, start your time with introductions if people don’t know each other. Begin with yourself (share your name, a bit about your family, and what inspired you to offer this group). Going first will put the group more at ease.
After the introductions, jump right in to watching the video teaching, getting things started on a strong note:
WATCH
PAUSE
One of the foundational beliefs of this process is that God is the initiator and we are simply invited to respond and participate. In each session, you’re invited to choose a two-minute pause after the video to let the message soak into your soul, let questions arise, and let God shine his light.
God, I invite you into this space as I sit in stillness with you. Here and now, I choose to recover my breath. I turn my attention and affection to you, God, and what you have prepared for me in this time. I choose to gather my scattered senses and focus my attention on the presence of God. I choose two minutes to breathe and center myself with you.
READ
It was said by George MacDonald, “Since we are the sons of God, we must become the sons of God.” Whatever else we encounter when we engage the life of Jesus, we encounter a person living fully as a son. Sonship is the truest state of his being. It is the epicenter of Jesus’ life, and it is intended to be the epicenter of ours. Only from an ongoing experience of sonship can we bring increasing strength—rather than our soul’s question—to the world.
If we live from an ever-expanding reservoir of sonship as our primary identity, we will become the kind of person who can prevail in any circumstance, no matter the cost. Even more, we will recover the treasure of deep and lasting joy. Let’s explore what it means to receive God as Father. It changes everything.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (study guide pages 42-43)
SCRIPTURE
So that we would know for sure that we are his true children, God released the Spirit of Sonship into our hearts….And because we’re his, we can access everything our Father has.
Galatians 4:6-7 TPT
CLOSING PRAYER
Protect time each week to pray. Don’t rush. Linger. Invite God to tend to your masculine hearts in what has surfaced in your time together. Ask him what else he wants you all to pray into.Invite his power and care into each of your lives as you take action and dig deeper into your story through this content in the week ahead.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
Read chapter 2 of Becoming a King.
Complete session 2 from the Becoming a King Study Guide.
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com.
FURTHER EXCAVATION (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER)
Listen to Become Good Soil podcast 013: Quick.
Watch Session 10 of Wild at Heart BASIC – Sonship: Receiving God as Father. You can access it through this Wild at Heart BASIC page, under Lead a BASIC > Section 6: Downloads.
Read Become Good Soil blog post – How Have You Learned the Father?.
For more, go to BecomeGoodSoil.com/Sonship
About this session: Much of who we have become is an attempt to hide because of our fear of failure and exposure. The ancient path of becoming a king invites us to a deepening awareness of the self-protective man so we can put to death the false self and become who we were made to be, recovering our true name.
Central questions for this session: What did God mean when he meant you? What if desire reveals design and design reveals destiny?
Initial welcome: As the group first gathers, start your time with introductions if people don’t know each other. Begin with yourself (share your name, a bit about your family, and what inspired you to offer this group). Going first will put the group more at ease.
After the introductions, jump right in to watching the video teaching, getting things started on a strong note:
WATCH
PAUSE
One of the foundational beliefs of this process is that God is the initiator and we are simply invited to respond and participate. In each session, you’re invited to choose a two-minute pause after the video to let the message soak into your soul, let questions arise, and let God shine his light.
God, I invite you into this space as I sit in stillness with you. Here and now, I choose to recover my breath. I turn my attention and affection to you, God, and what you have prepared for me in this time. I choose to gather my scattered senses and focus my attention on the presence of God. I choose two minutes to breathe and center myself with you.
READ
“There are many people who think they want to be matadors, only to find themselves in the ring with 2,000 pounds of bull bearing down on them, and then discover that what they really wanted was to wear tight pants and hear the crowd roar.” –Terry Pearce
Who have I become? And who am I becoming?
These are the central questions to recover masculine initiation.
After the fall of man, Adam confessed, “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Adam’s story is every man’s story. We have become who we are not. We are haunted by fear of failure and the taunting of what we lack within. In response to our terror, we form caricatures to help us deny our vulnerability and independently survive. Yet the self-protective man we have become is not the truest us. What if we have a destiny to reflect aspects of God’s heart that no one else exactly reflects, a destiny to offer a unique strength? Through recovering who we were born to be, we can shift from withering in the angst of our unvalidated soul to recovering a true and genuine strength to bring to the world.
The truest reality of the masculine soul is that we are inheritors of original goodness, magnificently crafted in the image of God. As Jesus promised, out of putting to death the false within a man, a greater life emerges. It is here we are welcomed to risk engaging in the extraordinary process of recovering an indestructible life, a life of ever-deepening union with God. A life worth living.
Let’s dig in.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (study guide pages 64-65)
SCRIPTURE
I was afraid, because I was naked; so I hid.
Genesis 3:10 NIV
CLOSING PRAYER
Protect time each week to pray. Don’t rush. Linger. Invite God to tend to your masculine hearts in what has surfaced in your time together. Ask him what else he wants you all to pray into. Invite his power and care into each of your lives as you take action and dig deeper into your story through this content in the week ahead.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
Read chapters 3 and 4 of Becoming a King.
Complete session 3 from the Becoming a King Study Guide.
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com.
FURTHER EXCAVATION (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER)
Watch the film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Start with the extended trailer for a brief introduction. Consider the gap between Walter Mitty’s daydreams and his daily reality. Can you resonate with this? What would it be like to discover an adventure journal left specifically for you from your dad, with the words “Have Fun” etched on the inside cover?
Listen to Become Good Soil podcast 041.
Watch Wild at Heart BASIC Session 5 – The New Name. You can access it through this Wild at Heart BASIC page, under Lead a BASIC > Section 6: Downloads.
About this session: To become a generalist is to cultivate a broad agency over many real things in order to mature and strengthen the entire masculine soul. As we forsake playing it safe to choose to live on the frontier of our initiation, we become the kind of man who can handle himself in any situation, bringing actual skill and harnessed strength to meet the world’s needs.
Central Question for this session: In some of his final words to his Kingdom apprentices, Jesus said, “Travel light. You are the equipment.” What if a man and a knife could save the world?
Initial welcome: As the group first gathers, start your time with introductions if people don’t know each other. Begin with yourself (share your name, a bit about your family, and what inspired you to offer this group). Going first will put the group more at ease.
After the introductions, jump right in to watching the video teaching, getting things started on a strong note:
WATCH
PAUSE
One of the foundational beliefs of this process is that God is the initiator and we are simply invited to respond and participate. In each session, you’re invited to choose a two-minute pause after the video to let the message soak into your soul, let questions arise, and let God shine his light.
God, I invite you into this space as I sit in stillness with you. Here and now, I choose to recover my breath. I turn my attention and affection to you, God, and what you have prepared for me in this time. I choose to gather my scattered senses and focus my attention on the presence of God. I choose two minutes to breathe and center myself with you.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (study guide pages 88-89)
SCRIPTURE
...act like men…
1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV
CLOSING PRAYER
Protect time each week to pray. Don’t rush. Linger. Invite God to tend to your masculine hearts in what has surfaced in your time together. Ask him what else he wants you all to pray into. Invite his power and care into each of your lives as you take action and dig deeper into your story through this content in the week ahead.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
Read chapter 5 of Becoming a King.
Complete session 4 from the Becoming a King Study Guide.
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com.
FURTHER EXCAVATION (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER)
Watch the film The Company Men. Consider the story of Bobby Walker and the path and process of masculine initiation he had to go through to become a more wholehearted king. What do you relate to in this film? What is God saying to you through it, and who would you risk sharing this part of your story with? [Note: This movie has some inappropriate scenes, so use discretion.]
Listen to Become Good Soil podcast 004: Hello Trouble.
Read these Become Good Soil blog posts:
Watch Hello, Trouble. Use your soul’s experience of this video to dig deeper into session four of the study guide.
Pray about receiving a knife from God to mark this milestone or bestowing a knife on another man. Check out the Become Good Soil knife collection and read more in this Become Good Soil blog post – A Man and a Knife Can Save the World.
About this session: As soul-full beings, we are made to thrive in constant connection with the life of God and his Kingdom. The restoration of the masculine soul requires restoring a habitat where we can recover our strength and live out what we were meant to be as a man. Within this habitat, we arrange our days around practices that fuel our becoming.
Central Questions for this session: Around what are you arranging your days? How do you cultivate a habitat, habits, and a life-giving relational model that bears the fruit of joy, resolve, and becoming the kind of person who never puts things that matter less in front of things that matter most?
Initial welcome: As the group first gathers, start your time with introductions if people don’t know each other. Begin with yourself (share your name, a bit about your family, and what inspired you to offer this group). Going first will put the group more at ease.
After the introductions, jump right in to watching the video teaching, getting things started on a strong note:
WATCH
PAUSE
One of the foundational beliefs of this process is that God is the initiator and we are simply invited to respond and participate. In each session, you’re invited to choose a two-minute pause after the video to let the message soak into your soul, let questions arise, and let God shine his light.
God, I invite you into this space as I sit in stillness with you. Here and now, I choose to recover my breath. I turn my attention and affection to you, God, and what you have prepared for me in this time. I choose to gather my scattered senses and focus my attention on the presence of God. I choose two minutes to breathe and center myself with you.
READ
How are you arranging your days? This is where the rubber meets the road. The masculine soul is designed to thrive in a particular habitat shaped by habits that are soul-strengthening. And all of this is intended to thrive in a particular relational model. Dallas Willard once said, “You must arrange your days so that you are experiencing deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday life with God.“ How do we become good soil, become deeply rooted, and cultivate a like-hearted relational model that allows us to thrive in cultures that often stand as enemies to our masculine soul? Let’s dig in.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (study guide pages 114-116)
SCRIPTURE
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
Proverbs 16:25 ESV
CLOSING PRAYER
Protect time each week to pray. Don’t rush. Linger. Invite God to tend to your masculine hearts in what has surfaced in your time together. Ask him what else he wants you all to pray into.Invite his power and care into each of your lives as you take action and dig deeper into your story through this content in the week ahead.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Becoming a King.
Complete session 5 from the Becoming a King Study Guide.
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com.
FURTHER EXCAVATION (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER)
Watch the short film Godspeed: The Pace of Being Known. What does this film evoke in your heart? What is your current pace? Does it leave room for you and those under your care to be known?
Listen to:
Read Become Good Soil blog post – First Light – A Truly Happy Thanksgiving.
About this session: Though every generation faces unprecedented challenges, every generation also shares unprecedented opportunities to recover the path of life. As we respond to Jesus’ radical invitation to travel deeper together along the ancient path of becoming, we too can become the kind of kings who grow steadily in trust and confidence in the authority of Jesus.
Central Question for this session: Very few men ever really learn to love God with their whole heart. How do you become the kind of wholehearted man activated by love to whom God can gladly entrust the care of his Kingdom?
Initial welcome: As the group first gathers, start your time with introductions if people don’t know each other. Begin with yourself (share your name, a bit about your family, and what inspired you to offer this group). Going first will put the group more at ease.
After the introductions, jump right in to watching the video teaching, getting things started on a strong note:
WATCH
PAUSE
One of the foundational beliefs of this process is that God is the initiator and we are simply invited to respond and participate. In each session, you’re invited to choose a two-minute pause after the video to let the message soak into your soul, let questions arise, and let God shine his light.
God, I invite you into this space as I sit in stillness with you. Here and now, I choose to recover my breath. I turn my attention and affection to you, God, and what you have prepared for me in this time. I choose to gather my scattered senses and focus my attention on the presence of God. I choose two minutes to breathe and center myself with you.
READ
Henry Varley once said, “The world has yet to see what God will do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully consecrated to him.” Though every generation faces unprecedented challenges, every generation also experiences unprecedented opportunities
to recover the path to life. Jesus promises that our Good Father is winsomely at work. As we respond to his radical invitation to travel together on this ancient path of becoming, we too can become the kind of kings who so trust and rely on an interactive life that we astonish the heart of God.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (study guide pages 180-181)
SCRIPTURE
Jesus was astonished when he heard this and said to those who were following him, “He has greater faith than anyone I’ve encountered in Israel!”
Matthew 8:10 TPT
THERE IS MORE.
The Greatest revolution in humanity began with twelve men. You are among that great line of the heroic few. Who are the men God would have you invite deeper into the work in which you have engaged in this message?
Over twenty years of walking with men my great personal transformation has consistently occurred when I risk offering to others. Would you be willing to share this message with other men? Would you be willing to facilitate a group through Becoming a King. Pause, pray, and ask God. Who are the men and what is the next step? Write their names down.
Here are some particular next steps I recommend.
Above all else, give God your next decade. It’s worth it. You are worth it. Make your apprenticeship in becoming a king in God’s kingdom the central mission of your days and your decade. You are among the few.
Since we are God’s kings, may we set our masculine hearts on becoming a king. I look forward very much to being with you at the campfires of the kingdom, celebrating our shared courage and the truest story of all—that in the end, love wins.
CLOSING PRAYER
Protect time each week to pray. Don’t rush. Linger. Invite God to tend to your masculine hearts in what has surfaced in your time together. Ask him what else he wants you all to pray into. Invite his power and care into each of your lives as you take action and dig deeper into your story through this content in the week ahead.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
Complete session 6 from the Becoming a King Study Guide.
Subscribe to BecomeGoodSoil.com.
FURTHER EXCAVATION (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER)
Watch the film Gladiator. Consider Maximus. What do you love about him? What parts of his story do you resonate with? To whose authority are you consenting?
